Should a Chrisitan Attend a Gay Friend's "Wedding"?

Introduction

Good afternoon everyone. I hope all of you are doing well today. It is a pleasure to be able to kick off this teaching series. The question that i aim to answer today is, should a Christian attend a gay friends wedding? It is no surprise that this is a polarizing topic amongst Christians today. On one side of the spectrum, you have Christians who think that homosexuality is the worst and grossest sin out there. They treat those who participate in this sin like second class or sometimes, not even as humans. Then there are those on the other side of the spectrum. Here you have christians who affirm the homosexual lifestyle and see nothing wrong with it. Some go as far to say that the Bible doesn’t speak against homosexuality as a sin and call anyone who does, not loving or not like Jesus. We should not be either of these examples. Rather, we should be in the middle of these as we address this topic biblically. We know that the Bible does speak against homosexuality, but we also know that all fall short of the glory of God and that all sin separates us from God. So with that brief introduction, i have two goals i hope to leave us with at the end of this teaching.

The first goal is

To provide a biblical foundation on why i believe, no Christian should attend a gay wedding.

Is to show how Christians should respond to the invitation in a way that is loving, God glorying, and full of grace.

First of, focusing on the first goal are my reasons i believe a Christian should not attend a gay wedding.

A. A Homosexual Marriage Biblically Speaking is Impossible

Marriage portrayed and spoken of un the Bible is between one man and one woman. Genesis 2:21-2:24

Genesis 2:21–24 ESV

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

God takes a rib from Adam and fashions a human who is not a copy of Adam but as Adam names her in verse 3, Woman. God then sanctions and legislates the conditions in which marriage will take place. A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

Another helpful passage to consider is Matthew 19:4-6

Matthew 19:4–6 ESV

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Jesus quotes Genesis 2:24 to them as his reference to the Old Testament Scriptures, something Jesus a whole lot of. This again is the foundation upon which marriage is established and ordained by God. It is one man and one woman coming together in marriage. There is no plan B or C in which two people of the same sex can get married to one another. Therefore, a gay marriage is impossible> It is an imitation of the real thing. A counter-fit. As Christians we should not participate in something that is a lie, when we know what God says about marriage. It is one man and one woman coming together in marriage.

B. God Is The One Who Joins Two Into One

Go back to Genesis 2. Take a look at verse 19. Genesis 2:19 and 21. God had first guided the animals to Adam to see what he would name them and at the end of 21, there was no helper fit for Adam. God in verse 22, brings Eve to Adam. He doesn’t hide her in the garden and hopes Adam will find her one day, he guides her directly to him.

Mark 10:9 ESV

What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Another account of Jesus’s conversation about divorce with the Pharisees. God himself sovereignly joins a man and a wife together.

Now here in lies a question that i think should be answered. Does God join two non believers together? Yes, yes he does. On one hand we believe that God is sovereign and that nothing happens apart from his will, but deeper than that he does join non believers in marriage. I believe that marriage is a common grace that he gives to non believers as well.

I can describe my answers later on in questions if someone is curious to hear more. But my main point is God is the one who joins two people together for marriage.

If we as Christians attended a gay wedding, we are saying that God is joining these two men or these two women when he clearly is not. What a shame that would be for us witnessing to these lost people, if they believe that we are affirming their marriage that God is as well because Christians are here. We are no better than they people who say that homosexuality isn’t condemned in the Bible. Christians cant be a bad witness to unbelievers and i believe attending a gay wedding would give some level of affirmation on our part and potentially affirmation from God in their minds. That is just not a risk we should be willing to take.

C. God’s Covenant in Marriage

`Turn to Ephesians 5:22-33

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

In this passage Paul gives us a picture, a beautiful comparison between a husband and wife, and Christ and his church. We see command after command on how wives And husbands are to act and live out their role with Christ‘s example with the church as the foundation. In verse 31, Paul quotes Genesis 2:24

Genesis 2:24 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

This is another reference to the original grounds in which marriage occurs. And in verse 32, he calls this mystery of becoming one flesh profound and he says it refers to Christ and the church. Marriage is a representation of the Gospel. I would imagine that those couples with the strongest marriages, have the best understanding and the best living out of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Gospel of Jesus Christ portrays Christ’s perfect love of those who didn’t love him (Romans 5:8). His perfect hold on us John 10. His endurance and long suffering as he hung there on the cross. This is the Gospel that should be displayed in Godly marriages.

This is the pinnacle of a marriage. It is to represent the Gospel together to the world. And a so called gay wedding is devoid of this kind of possibility within it. I am not saying that God can’t save a gay person if they were to be married, but i can tell you that he does not tell a gay person to stay in a relationship that he has not ordained or blessed like he does an unbelieving woman or man like he does in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

1 Corinthians 7:12–16 ESV

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

While a marriage of two unbelievers is not the best it could be, biblically speaking, there is a distinction in which an unbelieving marriage can still glorify God and be used for his purposes. This passage is one example. 1 Peter 3:1-2 is another one.

1 Peter 3:1–2 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

God’s Gospel is important and any representation or possible representation of it is important. A homosexual relationship cannot glorify God. It is a false covenant and it is a union that is based on a lie. And we Christians should not attend a gathering that smears the covenant of Christ and his church. A gay wedding in my opinion is that, while an unbelievers wedding may not be representing God’s covenant with his people, it is not smearing it by making a mockery of it.

Responding to the Invitation with Love, God’s Glory, and full of grace.

There we have it. My reasons why I believe a Christian should not attend a gay wedding. What do we do now? Do we say all of this to their face? Do we belittle or gawk at them for even thinking of inviting us to this occasion? Of course not. We respond to the invitation in a way that is loving, God glorifying, and full of grace. We respond to them with the Gospel. Some helpful things we can highlight in the gospel that might speak to them are some of the following.

Before we share the gospel, We tell them, thank you for thinking of us enough where you would want me in attendance of an event that means a lot to you. What it means to be invited to a wedding can be subjective. At least, it generally means you have a friendship with the person who invited you, and at best the person really really really wants you there. And i think acknowledging that invite is important.

You respectively decline and say, i am sorry, i cannot attend because i believe it would go against what I believe, and i would really appreciate if i can share with you why i feel like that, not to make you feel stupid for inviting me, but so you at least know where i am coming from.

You share the Gospel with them. In my studying of this topic, i would say the main thing those people who engage in homosexual sin, don’t one day wake up and say to themselves, lets try being gay today. They don’t struggle with wanting to act these desires out merely for the action itself. Rather, they struggle most with their identity as a gay person. The majority of them feel like they are biologically gay due to some internal or external thing that they hear or see that screams identity is found here. This is critically important for us Christians to know because often i think we want to correct their actions before we want to correct their heart issue, which is idolatry to this identity that is sinful. We tell them that we too found our identity in sin that is just as offensive to God like the sin of homosexuality is but that Jesus Christ offers us a NEW IDENTITY! An everlasting identity that he gives us and he calls us friend, forgiven, and CHild of God. This is the love we tell them, that JEsau’s Christ offers a new life and a new identity that is far greater than anyone can imagine and that they can have it too when they believe in Jesus Christ as the savior of their sin and turn to the path that offers life and life everlasting!

Helpful Bible Verses

Leviticus 18:22 20:13

Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:8-10, Matthew 19:4-6, Mark 10:9. Ezekiel 16:46-50, Jude 7-8